I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
