p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
