john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
