nut hugger
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize