Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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