loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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