Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
