oh god the rape fog is back!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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