I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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