You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just found puke in my bra..
organizing the empties. That sober.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
