I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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