Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
