forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
