it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize