I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize