Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
