she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
