A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
