there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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