just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize