Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
