He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
