i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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