I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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