The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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