you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
