soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
