I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
