I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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