Already got asked if we're dating
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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