dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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