Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
