I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
