If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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