I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize