im six kinds of drunk right now
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
