the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
