people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need a beard to bite.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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