I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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