I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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