Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need moral support for this bender
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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