hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
