:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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