You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
