I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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