i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
