no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
