Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
