After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
