just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize