Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
handjob tips. give me some.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
