is your mom at the bar?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
