i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
