I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
