tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
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It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize