Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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