The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
