The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
