And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
