So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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