last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
