I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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