OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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