the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
