His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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