I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
