Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
