That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.