oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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