i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.