found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.